Its always my fault, I'm always a mess, I'm always out of place, I'm always a joke, I feel isolated here more then ever...and no one cares, I've lost myself.

I feel discarded
I hate it here

Somehow I have managed to fall into a crazy, sick, demented and mentally ill group of friends. Needless to say they suit me well :)

If they arn't freaky then the make it up in geeky

There's Mike, who I oft. call the FBI (Fuckin' Big Indian) he's also called Chief Sand Nigger...nice huh
He's a Starwars and Superman Geek

There's Brandon aka. MacGyver...who drives the Rusty Nubs ....need I say more
I'm not really a geek...he's moe of a freak...like rainman...he knows things 0_o

Carol aka. Tim Bit aka. Whore
Freak...just for hanging out with us

Pierce aka. Face Pussy aka. Hot American Friend
Bit geeky, bit freaky...quite hot...things even out

Those are the ones I have hung out with, bit I've met Dave aka. Christianities (The Emaculate Contraption) and Jordan aka Scappa

We've gone out and sang kareoke, been to the movies, out for dinner, driving....and everytime Mike has said something loud and innappropreate to make me go red in the face and give him a dirty look
Exapmle: During the trailers and previews one night a movie theatre Mike yells (while the theatre is in complete silence) " Oh yeah,Kate Winslet, I'd fuck her in the ass!"

Charming!

he he he I love these guys!


It's gonna be Mike's B-Day soon...I've gonna have to get him something amaing since hes been such a pal to me
I'll probably get him a big-ass dildo...he'd like that

I think we're all going out tonight to Karoke....but I'm as sick as a dog today...I can't stop coughing and hacking ...and do I look like shit....yeashhh

Oh...know whats really crappy...I gotta let some poor sod down today and tell him I am not interested in persuing a relationship with him
I gotta pull the friend card, and it makes me feel awful. I have no clue how he's going to react.
Only one way to find out

I hope luck is on my side...if not I'm fucked

I'm the type of person who doesn't live by the sword...and will probably get killed by one who does...

I'm having a hard time adjusting to College life, and the people, and not knowing anyone. I'm used to being the center of attention, surrounded by all my friends. I haven't really made any since I've been here. And I kinda got played twice...yeah I'm having a hard time. I thought I would have made a shit load of friends by now. Its kinda clicky here...and I fucking hate that. I'm a not click type of person. I'm purdy easy going and just enjoy people...here everyone is either introverted or already has a group they hang with. I fucking hate it. But I won't tell anyone back home, cause I think it would bother them to know...

Tired, going to bed. Feelings no longer coming out...eyes closing.

I just watched a doc. called Loose Change, about 911 and the conspiracy behind it. It blew me away. I think it just made me rethink a lot of things...definatly makes me second guess all I taken in...and what I think I know, and what I don't notice. Its very logic. I reccomend it...there are two parts if you go on www.youtube.com or www.myspace.com to watch it. Google also has it, but bad quality.


The guy who wrote and put this doc. togther was only 18 at the time. Blows me a-freakin'way!

Poll #823663 Bed Fun
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 0

Do you think sex toys and roll play should be incorporated in your sex life?

Sweet, I am now part of the Live Journal populous!

I just started attending Niagara College for Broadcasting, Radio, TV and Film. A couple of my Profs suggested I keep a journal.

I used to have a diary when I was young, and keep a web journal in my younger years as well.

I thought, hey, why not. Help me get out frustrations, meet some people, talk all I want. Lots o’ pluses. Besides, it’s cool enough for Fredryk Phox. Heh.

Yes, I am one of the sad folks who have watched almost every Phox clip on the net. Do I feel less human for it? No. Do I feel like a bit of a loser? No. Do I feel like I know him as a person because I have watched his tapes? No, not at all. As far as experience goes, you can never really know someone unless you hang out with him or her on a regular basis, see them drunk, watch them cry, puke, be humiliated…wait hasn’t he done that. That’s not the point. No I’m not a Phox creepette, I do not worship him, claim to be his friend even though I have never met him or talked to him, or live by his examples. That’s just fuckin’ creepy, and not to mention wrong and dangerous. I do, on the other hand believe he is a movie/comic genius. And I believe if he keeps dabbling in film, it could really take him places. He is the man, that I do admit. Abraham Lincoln is also the man, but that’s a different journal entry.

Good night, ado
For now

-Ashlee, a n00b in the world of Live Journaling